Without title...

Celeste Abarentos, Maria Topourova, Lei Tao, Lena Krutovskaya

It was early morning and I was walking hurriedly towards the train station. The wind was blowing the scattered leaves along the sidewalks, lampposts were still lighting the foggy streets and most houses were still in darkness. There was a heavy downpour last night but it seemed to be a clear day ahead.

Reaching the main entrance of the station, I paused to catch my breath and stood quietly at the corner getting a good view of the whole area. I gazed around and made my last glimpse of the city…still sleeping.

"I'll probably not see this place for a while…" I whispered to myself.

Dear Ma, It's been a week since this idea hit my head. It only required me a handful of time but a great deal of courage to make the final decision.

By the time you read this, I'll probably be in Achill Island already since I'll be mailing it from there. Don't wonder why I chose to go to this part of Northern Ireland for I don't even know what to expect. From what I've heard from a friend (link to Maria), it's a place for people like me.

I'm aware that you're trying to understand my moods and temperament these past few days…this is what I'm up to. In my journey, I wish to find something unequivocal. I remember telling you my dreams but they're rather contrive thoughts - still, I believe that I can follow them by having this journey.

In some ways, I see my travel as a repentance of some sorts. I've been reserved and particularly distanced for a time with the family. Re-evaluating the things I've done and going through the events of my life has brought me to this decision. A higher plan maybe my purpose but I face all these according to the dictates of my conscience.

I'll spare you the discussions I've had in my mind. These have all been too tiring…I'm sorry for writing all these.

Me.

I never noticed that the sun was already up shinning brightly through the clear sky. It has been more than an hour since I left the city. The time drifted away very fast like this train moving vigorously through the tracks. Passing along the vast land fields and bare trees, I enclosed the letter apprehensively and wrote the address at the back of the envelope.

"Would you like to eat now, Matilda?" asked the subdued voice at the back of my seat.

No was the answer I heard from the kid . However, it was not a sign of rejection to the offer but rather a suggestive "Yes, but later" reply. My attention was diverted to the voice I heard for a while but came back again to my drifting thoughts and began composing a new letter.

Maria, It's hard to ignore the thought of asking what lies ahead in the future. I guess nobody can answer that except me. All of us are looking which direction to take, it just so happen that there are a thousand ways on how to find it. There are probably no shortcuts but there are definitely clues. However, if there's an easy way out, I am sure I'll not be on board this train to Achill Island.

I hope that you're doing fine upon receiving this letter. I couldn't help but recall our conversation a few days ago which prompted me to write this letter. My desire to leave the place became much stronger, the idea of finding myself grew seriously. Most of the time, I find myself staring blankly at one object and thinking what life would be like away from home. I tried writing my thoughts but no words were ever written in my notepad because I couldn't explain what was happening inside me. Several times, I asked myself where would I go if I leave…

WHERE WILL I GO!?? I whispered to myself over and over, tapping the small table with the pen in between my fingers. I was trying to find the answer why I got into this situation but nobody seemed to notice the confrontation I was doing to myself while sitting slothful on my seat.

"TICKETS PLEASE!" announced the incoming voice from the doorway. I reached for my jacket and scanned through the inside pocket. Knowing the conductor's presence behind my seat, I held the ticket on my left hand and stared while waiting for my turn. From there, I was reminded that I'm heading to Achill Island.